how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
