Don't make out with my wife yet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
