It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Randomize
