dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
