R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
