My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
