Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
