i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
