Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize