He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize