that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize