i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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