Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
