bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
