I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize