P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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