You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
