dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
