last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
