Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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