made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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