She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
