I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize