Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
