shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
