I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
