So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
