a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize