my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
