I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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