Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
