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I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
