I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
