so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
