She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
