How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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