I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
be right there i have to get my cape
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
