Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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