That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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