How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
