sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
