Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize