Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
