he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
