Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
