All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
