Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
