she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We got so high we made milksteak
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
