Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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