I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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