did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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