whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
