Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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