I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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