My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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