My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
