No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
