if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
