I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My dick has a subreddit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
