things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
