Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
