he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
