I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
