Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
