I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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